The 'Experience First' Relationship Triad
by Evan LaPointe • Founder at CORE Sciences
A four-time founder (including Satellite, acquired by Adobe) turned neuroscience educator. He runs CORE Sciences to teach companies how to bridge the gap between 'what science knows' and 'what business does' to improve decision-making and team dynamics.
🎙️ Episode Context
Evan LaPointe bridges the gap between neuroscience and product management, arguing that most business dysfunction arises because we ignore how human brains actually operate. He breaks down the brain's safety, reward, and purpose systems, and introduces frameworks for navigating personality differences (specifically Openness vs. Conscientiousness) in strategy work. The episode offers deep dives into fixing broken professional relationships, structuring meetings to avoid waste, and choosing specific 'characters' to influence stakeholders effectively.
Problem It Solves
Explains why highly skilled product managers or engineers get sidelined or why 'ineffective' people remain popular. It provides a diagnostic tool for fixing broken stakeholder relationships.
Framework Overview
A framework for deconstructing professional relationships into three components. Contrary to business logic, 'Ability' is the least important biologically, while 'Appeal' (the experience of working with you) is the most critical for survival in a social mesh.
🧠 Framework Structure
Component 1: Ability (Utility) - Can ...
Component 2: Trust (Risk) - Evaluated...
Component 3: Appeal (Experience) - Th...
Action: If a relationship is failing,...
When to Use
When you are struggling to get buy-in despite having the correct data, or when trying to understand why a high-performing team member is causing friction.
Common Mistakes
Doubling down on proving you are 'right' (Ability) when the actual deficit is that you are unpleasant to work with (Appeal).
Real World Example
Evan uses Shreyas Doshi as an example of someone with high scores in all three: High Utility (intellectually additive), High Trust (Level 3), and High Appeal (positive experience).
It's critical to ask what kind of experience am I? Not how good am I at my job... but am I a miserable experience? If the answer is yes, don't worry too much about the other pieces yet. You got to fix that first.
— Evan LaPointe