Delicate Conversation Scripts
by Alisa Cohn • Executive Coach & Author at Alisa Cohn Coaching
Named the Top Startup Coach in the World at the Thinkers50 Marshall Goldsmith Coaching Awards. Author of 'From Start-Up to Grown-Up'. Coach to leaders at Etsy, Venmo, DraftKings, and The New York Times.
🎙️ Episode Context
Executive coach Alisa Cohn breaks down the specific scripts and frameworks for handling the hardest parts of leadership: having delicate conversations, firing employees, aligning with co-founders, and running effective meetings. She emphasizes that a leader's job is to drive results rather than make employees happy.
Problem It Solves
Managers avoiding necessary feedback due to fear of upsetting employees, leading to mediocrity and eventual firing surprises.
Framework Overview
A structured approach to delivering difficult feedback (performance issues, firing, promotion denial) that relies on observable facts rather than judgment, reducing defensiveness and clarifying expectations.
⚡ Step-by-Step Framework
Use observable facts/data, not judgments or feelings.
Link the feedback to the employee's career goals or company success.
Manage your own mindset: Do not do it to vent; do it to help them improve.
Prepare for the emotional reaction (defensiveness/tears) and hold the line.
Use observable facts/data, not judgments or feelings.
Link the feedback to the employee's career goals or company success.
Manage your own mindset: Do not do it to vent; do it to help them improve.
Prepare for the emotional reaction (defensiveness/tears) and hold the line.
When to Use
Performance reviews, addressing behavioral issues, denying promotions, or firing.
Common Mistakes
Being vague to be 'nice', focusing on personality rather than behavior, or backing down when the employee gets emotional.
Real World Example
A manager told an employee she wasn't getting a promotion because she lacked specific skills, but framed it as wanting to help her build those skills for the future, maintaining the relationship.
My observation is that you're getting a little bit emotional... but ultimately, we really have to have this conversation.
— Alisa Cohn